Episode 3

THE ESSAY:

A short story about a last minute deadline, one bad decision, and the greatest academic achievement of all time.  

Let me set the scene. 

The year is 2010 and Greg is a junior in high school. Greg is at his girlfriend Melissa’s house on a Sunday hanging out for the day by the pool. Greg has a paper due in English on a book he hasn’t read. This is his junior year and grades are essential for his future. Greg is classic Hollywood highschooler, quarterback and captain of the football team, dating the popular girl, he has the whole package. Unfortunately, Greg lacks academic discipline and drive. He gave 110% to his sport and about 0% to his academics. Classic, Greg!  

It’s a picture perfect day, about 75 degrees and sunny. Melissa says “Greg have you finished your book report on Catcher in the Rye?”

“No, I was planning to get it done today after the pool,” he responds. 

“It’s due tomorrow,” Melissa said in an annoyed but caring voice. By that I mean she responded with sass. 
“I’ll get it done, I'm not worried”. He said as he sipped on his beer (I mean Arnold Palmer). 

Hours went by and conversation lacked substance. Melissa was complaining she wasn’t tan enough and Greg was complaining about his body fat percentage. Safe to say neither of them had a Ph.D. in their future. As the sun dipped below the horizon, the couple headed back into the house. 

Melissa called out to her parents. There was no response. 

“They must be gone,” she said.

With a happy and eager smile, Greg responded “Should we, then?” 

Melissa with the same tone and smirk said, “Yes, let’s go upstairs!” 

They were about to do something that would change the course of Greg’s academic career forever. 

They smoked! 

The couple indulged themselves in some hits and coincidentally ended up falling asleep. 

Greg woke up in a sweat realizing they had been asleep for 2 hours. The deadline for the paper was 11:59pm and the current time was half past 8:00pm.  

So Greg did what any studious junior in high school with a time limit would do, he cracked open his laptop and immediately went to Sparknotes. For those unfamiliar, Sparknotes is an academic lifeline for every high school student who has ever chosen a social life over a reading assignment. Let’s just say, Greg knew Sparknotes better than he knew his own brother.   

An hour had passed and Greg was completely grinding through this essay. He had written 5 pages, each page more detailed than the next. 

He felt accomplished, or so he thought. Five pages on such short notice, with the opposite of performance enhancing drugs in his system. Greg was never one to be modest.

He submitted his paper and fell back asleep next to Melissa. What he did not do, in his altered state of mind, was proofread. Not a single word. 

The next morning the couple got up and got ready for school.

As Melissa showered, Greg got himself organized, he opened his laptop to double check he submitted everything the night prior and in fact he had. 

Luckily for him English was his first period and all assignments were complete. 

Once at school, after English class, Ms. Patterson asked Greg to stay and discuss. 

Greg thought, “Wow I'm getting talked to by the teacher. I must have crushed that book report.” 

The class left and Greg said before the teacher could say her first word, “My report was good, wasn’t it?” 

“Your report didn’t make any sense” Ms. Patterson responded, sliding one piece of paper across the desk. 

At the top read one word in all capitals - “THC!” 

Nobody Asked. Now you know anyway.